The Mirror of Acceptance

The Mirror of Acceptance

The Mirror

Despite living in a world with invisible lines that separate us all by color, socioeconomic status, and connections (i.e. who you know), I was raised to respect everyone despite ethnicity, differing beliefs, and job titles. I learned so much from people along my journey because I could listen and learn from anyone, from the janitor to the CEO. I am reminded of a time when I met a man who was a Janitor. Upon talking to him, I learned he was three times retired, twice from two branches of the military, and now was the CEO of his janitorial company that provided jobs for those with barriers on their background. That janitor was a multimillion dollar CEO with a heart of gold and wisdom beyond my years. Never judge a book by its cover! What do you see when you look at others? Do you see the worst or do you see the best? Through research we have learned that many times our view of others is a reflection of ourselves. What do you see in the mirror? Do you love what you see from the inside out?

Acceptance

Acceptance in human psychology is a person's assent to the reality of a situation, recognizing a process or condition (often a negative or uncomfortable situation) without attempting to change it. The concept is close in meaning to acquiescence, derived from the Latin acquiēscere which means to find rest in. So, what does it mean to have acceptance? In practical terms, it does not mean you have to like someone or like something, but as we say in Psychology “it is what it is.” You can’t change the facts. You may not like your boss, but they are still your boss. You may not like that your child is part of the LGBT community, but it is what it is. You may not support interracial relationships, but you have a grandchild. Do you stop loving your child or grandchild? No. It is still your boss, it is still your child, it is still your grandchild. Many times, it is hard for us to accept people we don’t like but here’s some truth for you, there are people who may not care for your not so pleasant demeanor yet they are not disrespectful to you. We like to focus on who has wronged us, but who have you offended today. Perhaps, you raised your voice, you overstepped your boundaries, you made them feel a certain way that ruined their day. Did you go back to that person and ask for forgiveness? Yet, we often want people to understand us, side with us, hear how we feel, tell us the other person is wrong and we are right, but acceptance starts with our ability to accept ourselves as imperfect and accept others as they are.

Tips To Experience Acceptance For Yourself:

1. Check your thoughts and your mood. What’s going on with you?

2. Look for the positive. Not accepting others is a result of seeing the ONLY the negative in them.

3. Avoid black and white thinking. That’s often not real life.

4. Reverse the situation. Walk a mile in the other person’s shoes.

Rest In It

My favorite part of the definition of Acceptance is the Latin meaning “to find rest in.” Find rest in loving you, loving your life, and close the gap between who you are and who you want to be. The larger the gap, the more you are unfulfilled. The more you are unfulfilled, you will find it difficult to be happy and to celebrate with others. Can you compliment another person, can you celebrate others, can you listen when you need to be listened to, can you motivate when you need uplifting as well? Find rest in the imperfection of others because it’s not up to you to change others. Your only responsibility is to change you! Learn to love what you see in the mirror and then I charge you to compliment and celebrate others. The short-term reward is happiness, the long-term reward is joy, and when you truly master this you will know that there is a difference between happiness and joy. Joy is the ultimate peace.

Rest In It,

Dr. Carletta Artis